No Comments Written by admin on September 12, 2009 – 11:56 am

Dear Yeti,

I have an extreme problem with mice in my house. I hate mice they totaly creep me out and I’ve got to do something about it. My house is kind of old and I’m sure the mice were there before I bought the place but I think they are multiplying every day. I want to finish the basement but I’m not even gonna bother if I can’t keep the mice from coming in, any way it’s really becoming a problem.

I have called exterminators and friends, tried mousetraps and sticky pads, but nothing can get rid of them. I’m impartial hoI was wondering, with you being a yeti and all, if you had any experience with this kind of thing. I am sorry if I am stereotyping yeti’s but I assumed your race has a lot of rat and mice problems.

Your Friend,
Cameron

Dear Cameron,

Before I respond to your ridiculous question, I want to address the last two sentences in your letter. At the risk of writing two racial comentaries in the same month, not only are we different races but different species. Thankfully, because I don’t want to be associated with you in any way should you ever decide to ask someone else if their racial background can provide you information on your rat problem. I’m a little bit offended. That’s like saying hey, since you are Native American, you must know the best way to smoke buffalo meat.

So you say you have called a professional exterminator, and employed both a mouse-trap and a sticky pad campaign, none of which were satisfactory. Your question is complete bull-shit but it’s a slow week and I will answer it anyway. When you called the exterminator, what did you talk about? Did you talk about his wife’s new scrapbooking projects? Did you break down the pros and cons of last weeks’ boat show? Or did you guys talk about your rodent problem. I say this because any decent exterminator is going to have 1.) a long term/short term solution 2.) an explanation of why your house/apartment is now a rat hotel. 3.) a guarantee of some sort to solve this dilemma. I suspect that you did call, you found out how much it’s going to cost to stare at Earl’s butt crack all Saturday and said forget it. So let it be said that like most problems, the easiest way to solve rodent infestation is to throw money at it. In this case, hire an exterminator who will diagnose and solve your problem.

With that said, I have decided to venture off of the world wide web for a solution, get 3 different voices on this matter and seek to provide you, Cameron, with a cost friendly solution to your problem.

Mauro Maldonado, an 8 year old who is way too serious about karate.
Mauro: You should buy a python,
Yeti: Not a cat?
Mauro: and a cat.
Yeti: Won’t the python eat the cat?
Mauro: No, they are friends.

Mirabelle Frances, A horse trainer in the mid-west:” I love it when the butterflies all come into my yard towards the end of the summer. It’s a magical time of year for us, but it is usually interrupted by the Iowa State Fair and after that. Then it starts to get cold out; that’s when I find out how many mice are in the fields and how many come into the house for food. It’s really only one or two mice in the house at any time and they are always easy to catch.

Do not even bother looking for holes in the exterior of your house. Mice can crawl through a ¼” hole and can usually chew open a gap that size in the matter of a few hours. She tells me that in her experience really the best way to keep out the mice is with a few cats roaming the house. She always uses peanut butter in the traps because it has to be licked off and can’t be stolen like cheese and she cleans the traps before they start to smell. She also advises that if the mice are big enough they can wiggle out of the traps. If this keeps happening just put a razorblade on the end or it like a guillotine. I advised Mirabelle that this may be a bit to aggressive or graphic for my readers. Mirabelle’s response was “then start learning to share your breakfast cereal.” Cameron you may want to look on line for more farm tips on mice eradication.

But like most things, my father says it best. He says “Well, better get yourself a better mouse trap.”

A Yeti