The Wondering Eye
2 Comments
Written by admin on October 25, 2009 – 1:59 am
Dear Yeti,
I have been married for going on two years now. My husband is the apple of my eye. I think about him all day when we are not together. I’m not trying to sound obsessed but I love him a lot. When we go out I sometimes catch him looking at other women. This makes me insane with rage and I can’t say anything to him when I catch him do it. Rather I end up snapping sometime later over a smaller and unrelated incident. What can I do to stop this? Is this his problem, or mine?Thankx,
Carry
Dear Carry
Congratulations you are a very lucky woman. Wait I may have gotten ahead of myself, I?ll pick up that thought in a minute. Ahh yea how annoying, he?s checking out every hot little thing that walks by. I get the feeling you are catching him do this a lot (or at least you think you are). And you see this as a growing problem. Lets deal with this in three parts: your problem, his problem, and the reality.
You are really into this guy and on some level no matter how small, you are afraid of losing him to another woman. When you see him checking out other women it pinches that nerve of insecurity and makes you ask your self ?why am I not enough for him?? All this adds up to extreme anxiety for you then you act out. Because you are paranoid I assume you also keep a close watch on this guy, always know where he is, monitor credit card and cell phone bills for incriminating evidence (strange hotel charges, long late night calls, exc.) Because you have not mentioned any suspicious of affairs or acts on betrayal it?s safe to say you are really just concerned about him ?looking? at other women. Congratulations you are in a committed relationship with a man who loves you. Take a minute and digest this.
Your husband is subject to forces beyond his control, it?s a cruel trick being played by his DNA from back when we were monkeys. Turn on your TV; I?m sure there will be a documentary on animal breading rituals sometime today. Part of dragging a penis around this pebble of a planet (animal or human) is the carnal need to put it somewhere. Sorry too graphic? Well it?s true, monogamy is a relatively new concept given the 10,000 years or evolution. Any man able to comply with this should be rewarded. This is why he looks, hell he probably even thinks about other women. None of this should worry you so stop being so insecure. If I had any advise on this topic it would be watch out for the guys who aren?t looking. That just isn?t natural and he could be hiding something.
The reality is that he is not acting on his primal urges. It?s just a little peek to satisfy his curiosity. Nothing can make a man more confused than a woman who builds up her anger then explodes on something unrelated. It?s unclear and confusing. Try dealing with your frustration in the moment or just buy him some sunglasses. If this fails to satisfy you can always return the favor by checking out other dudes. I suggest the sleazier the better (your club hopping mechanic, the bartender, the real estate agent who you met with last week that used to be on ?days of our lives?), these kind of guys should be easy to find and they are sure to get you point across.
A yeti
Yea this is all true
Since you are bothered by him looking at other women you should address how you feel to him. If he argues with you and does’nt want to listen to you then he does not have your best interests at heart. I’m sure if you did it to him he would not like it. The key in a relationship is respect, trust and communication remember that.