Daddy Swap
20 Comments
Written by admin on November 16, 2009 – 4:51 pm
Dear Yeti,
I recently found out that I am three months pregnant. The problem is that my boyfriend and I have only been dating for two months. I wish this all was’nt happening because we really do love each other and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose him, so is there a way I can make him think the baby is his? I know he will be the best father for the child. Do you think this will work?
Expecting
Dear Expecting,
Yeah, that should work flawlessly, I’m sure, because there is nothing men like to hear more after a two month courtship than “Honey, I’m pregnant with your child.” Yes, that was all sarcasm but I’m asking you, to take a step back and observe the delusion that you have created. This may be a reasonable solution in what ever trailer-park you are writing from but let me say this as clearly as possible, “no you can’t choose yo baby daddy.” Rather you can, you just have to do it before conception. Just because you’re in a good place right now with this new guy doesn’t mean that the baby bomb is going to make things easier. It’s actually more likely to cause a great deal of change in your relationship. This will happen regardless if it’s his child or not. Once you can objectively look at this situation I think you will start to understand what you must do.
First off I assume this idea of motherhood is a new concept for you. You’re probably confused and undoubtedly scared. It should start sinking in that you are growing a new life inside of you and that this little one is your responsibility (along with the genetic father). Try seeing this whole “daddy swap” idea through the baby’s eyes. No child wants to be born into a deceptive mess like you are talking about creating. So this should be your first red light.
Just because you think you have the power to rewind the tape and change who fathered your child doesn’t make it the right thing to do. Most of all, the delusion that this will make your life easier is both selfish and incorrect. If you follow through on this it will backfire on you and will only serve to alienate both the genetic father, the make-believe father, and the child, leaving you all alone. Is this really what you want to happen? Do you really want your life to turn into an episode on the Tyra Banks show?
It should become clear to you now that telling your former lover about his baby and breaking the news to your now boyfriend is the easiest way to go. It will be hard in the beginning, but things will get easier with time and the trust you build with both men will be your reward. Evolution of the modern family is growing without boundaries. Don’t sell yourself short by doing what is easier now and worrying about it for the rest of your life. You will soon be busy with raising your child and these difficulties will seem small in comparison.
A Yeti
Tell him if he really loves you he should understand……..God Bless you.
what you both did now done but you should both marry each other and take care of that child which you have in yours.
i don`t know your age, but if you are under 28 think before put a child in the world without a father..i believe none of them going to assume responsibility for this baby, he will accept given child support, or be forced too, which is nothing compared with all the love a child need from a dad. why you did this to yourself? there is so many way to prevent it, and not only this, now you are dating another guy and you are not protecting yourself again? my god, what kind women are you?
when i found out that my daughter might not be mines it pushed me off the edge and i began in a downward sprial expiermenting with drugs. I was told that when a guy is around his (kid) alot. the baby will take on facial featuers of him.Weather that is true or not my buddy has two kids. One of whom is not his and hes been there sience the beginning and both kids are a spitting image of him.
First let me say that I wish you the best in your motherhood… I am a man and can not even imagine what it must be like for you but having fathered 7 children I have seen that a woman is truely connected to the Universe , especially when pregnant. Man comes from woman and so a woman may encomás all that a man is yet by comparison a man will always fall way short of what a woman can be. Don’t let our patriarchal modern societies make you forget what you are. You don’t need a man so don’t be afraid of losing one. Also, lying to your partner and intending to deceive him in a way that will affect him fundamentally when he discovers the truth is not the best way of forging an intimate connection. You say you are in Love and that this man will be a great father yet you have been with him for only 8 weeks! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha….. aren’t human beings just great at not seeing the big picture. Don’t think that Im laughing at you… and Im certainly not making mun of your vulnerability or your emotions. I am a stranger to you but if I was in front of you now I would like to meet you in your eyes so that you recognise me and remember your self.. then I could smile and know that you have rediscovered your strengh and your divinity. Focus on your baby and the truth. By deceiving yourt boyfriend you will also end up lying to your child.
By the way… did you know that if a dog has a litter by a bitch that already has young puppies the male will often bite the heads of the babies that aren’t his….
you cheat humanity if you carryout this Daddy swap.I think those child right advocates should act now to stop this naturally blatant transgression
I think the best and wise thing to do is to be truthful. Your child comes first than a man. If you happen to lose this man that you have been dating only for two weeks then so be it. Your child is more importanant at this point. if you tell the truth you will see that your life would be at ease in the future.
I’m sorry I meant to say two months not two weeks.
It’s always more difficult to tell the truth – at first. But if you don’t, then you will worry for the rest of your life and deceive your child as well as both men. Choose short-term pain for long-term gain rather than the reverse. The truth really will set you free.
God bless you and your baby.
dear woman to be,
I am a mother, and I had a child,shes 2 years old now but nothing will come easily everything comes with obstacles such as having to bring forth a child !
i suggest 1st off you need to focus alone on that baby, tho you may feel your hormones increasing and that also requires you to have sex. you probably dont know or believe what i’m telling you but if your are having sex during pregnany and it’s not that father of the child , the child already knows by the fluids that its not her own father, not only will she know but she can see through the belly because the tissues are very thin, it’s like seeing the sun with your eyes closed, meaning you cant see the sun but you can definitely see the reddish orangish glow. Children are like angles and god has blessed you with an angel and you may not know the father but you should definitly find out who he is , worst case senario he is a jerk but you have no right to keep ur child away from him. please dont be inconsiderate and evil and build up hatred in your heart because ur baby feels everything your feeling keep a positive mind and eat healthy .trust me its better off dealing with ur pregnany alone than get ur head filled with confussion over men , if you have the child please dont get an ABORTION OR ADOPTION, you will be sinning greatly, i may sound like a relious person but im really now i’ve just come to know truth through hard abstacles i’ve faced , so pleaseeeeeee dont trick urself and ur baby’s life to come , i dont know what kind of family u come from NO DISRESPECT but the morals you pass on to ur child are going to last a lifetime
i’m sure you wouldn’t like ur mom for keeping you away from knowing ur dad
i personaly knew my dad but didnt grow up with him but i sometimes feel like i’ve missed out on things i cant even recall feeling empty, i love my mom but she did not think for her kids future ,as much as woman are bitter with men dont let another child grow up wondering her or his father. NO OTHER MAN WILL BE THE FATHER !!! if he’s good with you OKAY but no matter how nice he pretends to be he will not be a replacement for the child’s father. it may sound harsh but it’s not easy raising a child on your own so and if things dont worked out with ur boyfriend and if ur mad at him , you can not rely on him to do anything for ur child or expect him to . AS FAR AS LIENG TOHOM ABOUT THE CHILD BEING HIS , SORRY TO SAY BUT THAT IS EVIL TO THAT MAX!
AND IF HE FINDS OUT UR GOING TO BE DISGUISTED OF YOURSELF AND not even enjoy your pregnany, this is a very sensitive time of your life where you make or break it for yourself and your child , keep strangers out of your life , ELIMINATE THEM naturally you have your child you will be sooooooooo happy that alll of ur sorrows will disappear, when you kiss your baby there will not be any joy greater than that , to seee ur baby smile in their sleep you will capture that in ur heart . please dont worry ur already 2 months preg so everything will be okay for the next summer get lots of sun for vitamin d.
i know i sound old but i’m only 21 years old and had my child at age 17 i’ve learned alot since but i also regret chasing after men
women think with their heart but men think with their dick
so you may love this man ” ” it;ll only fade away within time.
EVERYTHING I’VE TOLD YOU IS WITH LOVE AND CARE OF MY HEART
I’M IN CLASS RIGHT NOW AT SCHOOL LOL LOLL OL
I think lying to someone you say you love is the perfect way to begin a relationship, especially about who’s baby it is. Since you would lie about something so important all the small stuff will be a breeze. You can lie about anything if you lie about who the father is.
ok look the daddy swap bad idea haen to me when i was young didnt like the hole thing became a real bad kid.calling the man i thought was my fther by another name and then blamed my mother and fother brakeing up on myself. Pleasedont put your child tough wat i had been though im still tryin to fnd out who my father is, Oh and if you two are in love it wouldnt matter if the baby is not his he would love it anyway. thats what my step father did love me tillthe end.
okayyy ummm i think u should stay with him and work everything out so he and u can take care of that baby so it will be easier for you and him and if dont think it aint his baby then go take a text and they will tell u if that is his baby but i hope everything works out but u should stay with him and work things out and thats good yall love each other thats good.. but yall should talk bout this and work it out…
i think running away from things isnt the answer. you are running from reality. the child ISNT his. living a lie will only make things worse. yeah, in the beginning things might work out, but one day, you argue, and then you, in rage, spill the beans. at that moment your life will fall apart.
dont live a lie, tell the truth, we are humand, we make mistakes, but IF he loves you, thant wont matter. it doesnt meen he wont feel cross, or sad, but love´s stonger than anything else.
LOL, you are seriously joking , with all the serious STD’s around nowadays, and free condoms availible from almost anywhere, AND YOU GET KNOCKED UP…….!, HA HA HA HA HA, wake up..
hi
… I don’t think you should tell your boyfriend that the baby is his if it isn’t. If he really loves you then hopefully he will accept it and love it when the time comes for the baby to be born. Hopefully he will ACCEPT it BEFORE that, and hopefully when that time comes it won’t just be him accepting it, hopefully it will be him being greatful for this child and adoring it. I don’t believe that a child needs a father. my mom raised me and my six siblings, and i am fine with that. I do know my father, and i don’t see him by my own choice. People who say that no man but the biological father can play the part of a father may be right, but after all it doesn’t take much to be a BIOLOGICAL FATHER. All it takes is a bit of sperm. I think that it is being a DAD or a DADDY that really counts for something:) and i DON’T think that you have to be the biological father to play that part. That said i do think you should give your child a chance to know the biological father. One the other hand, if he is abbusive or something bad then i don’t think you should, but as they grow older i think they should have the chance if they wan’t to know them, but as they get older. PLEASE DON’T GET AN ABORTION. if you don’t feel you can handle the baby or don’t want it then please give it up for adoption. (not saying that is the case, but if it is). I hope everything works out well for you and your baby, and also your baby’s DADDY whoever that may be:) stay safe, and be strong. God Bless you
“…if he really loves you he should understand.” Oh please. Whether he loves her or not, I hope he’d understand…and then wish her a good life before moving on. Turn it around, If she really loves him why would she even consider deceiving him…or even if she didn’t “really love him” for that matter. Character still counts even for those who chose to believe otherwise. Even if it was his child, this relationship is still barely in the dating stage, and marriage is pretty tough under the best of circumstances. This has disaster written all over it.
I suppose the concept of not sleeping around is just too old fashioned. However, there a rumor out that WE NOW KNOW WHAT CAUSEES PREGNANCY, and that IT CAN BE EASILY PREVENTED! So, after the whole character thing let’s add really stupid (both father and mother) to the equation …but especially the mother. Men play at love to get sex. Women play at sex to get love. Like it or not, ladies, your gender bears the consequences AND therefore the greater responsibility for not getting pregnant. If for no other reason, self preservation. So, wise up, plan ahead or don’t whine when the enevitable happens.
Hi
i am very happy to read your suggestion to the women who was in kind of trouble , all the things which you told is cent percent correct. but i got only one thing to tell you dear. you might have suffered badly because of mens.
but believe me there are 100 thousand of mens who think with there heart. even i am a men ,i am about 26 now, but i never ever had sex with any girl, because i am a religious man, and i will do it with one else it is for my life partner only, because she is the only one who got the right to do so.
know tell me what do you have with you today.nothing, you lost your virginity and no one is there to be wit you.
i just want to tell you only one thing my dear, please don’t let any one else to play with you or wit your feelings.i strongly feel that you are very independent and got lots of wisdom, you have real time experience. you are too young you got heaps of things to do in your life. so be careful in your life.
i wish you will be successful in every part of life, and inshallaha you will be living all your life with happyiness
hi what a beautiful artical
my opinion is that you have been together for two months? you sound young i think you should tell the boyfriend the truth if he really loves you he will except the fact you are caring another mans baby, if not then my other option would be to abort the fetus.. there are tooo many single mothers in the world right now living off welfare, do you really want that? if you dont have help with the child what are you going to do? the child will suffer for your mistakes.. i dont know if you will have help with the baby or if your alone on this? but think about it..i am 20 yrs old with two kids from the same father i live off welfare, i have no money for my children and their dad is married with another baby on the way..i have no help with my children no day care so i can work…everyone says dont abort it that is evil.. well for listening to them look where me and my children are my kids are suffering are any of those who said “dont abort it” here to feed my children? or clothe my children? no i am by myself with them suffering so dont listen to any one who says abortion is evil… fuck that. if you cant provide for the baby then that is the option.or if he wants to be the father marry him and have a good life. take care.