Daddy Swap
46 Comments
Written by admin on November 16, 2009 – 4:51 pm
Dear Yeti,
I recently found out that I am three months pregnant. The problem is that my boyfriend and I have only been dating for two months. I wish this all was’nt happening because we really do love each other and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose him, so is there a way I can make him think the baby is his? I know he will be the best father for the child. Do you think this will work?
Expecting
Dear Expecting,
Yeah, that should work flawlessly, I’m sure, because there is nothing men like to hear more after a two month courtship than “Honey, I’m pregnant with your child.” Yes, that was all sarcasm but I’m asking you, to take a step back and observe the delusion that you have created. This may be a reasonable solution in what ever trailer-park you are writing from but let me say this as clearly as possible, “no you can’t choose yo baby daddy.” Rather you can, you just have to do it before conception. Just because you’re in a good place right now with this new guy doesn’t mean that the baby bomb is going to make things easier. It’s actually more likely to cause a great deal of change in your relationship. This will happen regardless if it’s his child or not. Once you can objectively look at this situation I think you will start to understand what you must do.
First off I assume this idea of motherhood is a new concept for you. You’re probably confused and undoubtedly scared. It should start sinking in that you are growing a new life inside of you and that this little one is your responsibility (along with the genetic father). Try seeing this whole “daddy swap” idea through the baby’s eyes. No child wants to be born into a deceptive mess like you are talking about creating. So this should be your first red light.
Just because you think you have the power to rewind the tape and change who fathered your child doesn’t make it the right thing to do. Most of all, the delusion that this will make your life easier is both selfish and incorrect. If you follow through on this it will backfire on you and will only serve to alienate both the genetic father, the make-believe father, and the child, leaving you all alone. Is this really what you want to happen? Do you really want your life to turn into an episode on the Tyra Banks show?
It should become clear to you now that telling your former lover about his baby and breaking the news to your now boyfriend is the easiest way to go. It will be hard in the beginning, but things will get easier with time and the trust you build with both men will be your reward. Evolution of the modern family is growing without boundaries. Don’t sell yourself short by doing what is easier now and worrying about it for the rest of your life. You will soon be busy with raising your child and these difficulties will seem small in comparison.
A Yeti
Tell him if he really loves you he should understand……..God Bless you.
what you both did now done but you should both marry each other and take care of that child which you have in yours.
i don`t know your age, but if you are under 28 think before put a child in the world without a father..i believe none of them going to assume responsibility for this baby, he will accept given child support, or be forced too, which is nothing compared with all the love a child need from a dad. why you did this to yourself? there is so many way to prevent it, and not only this, now you are dating another guy and you are not protecting yourself again? my god, what kind women are you?
when i found out that my daughter might not be mines it pushed me off the edge and i began in a downward sprial expiermenting with drugs. I was told that when a guy is around his (kid) alot. the baby will take on facial featuers of him.Weather that is true or not my buddy has two kids. One of whom is not his and hes been there sience the beginning and both kids are a spitting image of him.
First let me say that I wish you the best in your motherhood… I am a man and can not even imagine what it must be like for you but having fathered 7 children I have seen that a woman is truely connected to the Universe , especially when pregnant. Man comes from woman and so a woman may encomás all that a man is yet by comparison a man will always fall way short of what a woman can be. Don’t let our patriarchal modern societies make you forget what you are. You don’t need a man so don’t be afraid of losing one. Also, lying to your partner and intending to deceive him in a way that will affect him fundamentally when he discovers the truth is not the best way of forging an intimate connection. You say you are in Love and that this man will be a great father yet you have been with him for only 8 weeks! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha….. aren’t human beings just great at not seeing the big picture. Don’t think that Im laughing at you… and Im certainly not making mun of your vulnerability or your emotions. I am a stranger to you but if I was in front of you now I would like to meet you in your eyes so that you recognise me and remember your self.. then I could smile and know that you have rediscovered your strengh and your divinity. Focus on your baby and the truth. By deceiving yourt boyfriend you will also end up lying to your child.
By the way… did you know that if a dog has a litter by a bitch that already has young puppies the male will often bite the heads of the babies that aren’t his….
you cheat humanity if you carryout this Daddy swap.I think those child right advocates should act now to stop this naturally blatant transgression
I think the best and wise thing to do is to be truthful. Your child comes first than a man. If you happen to lose this man that you have been dating only for two weeks then so be it. Your child is more importanant at this point. if you tell the truth you will see that your life would be at ease in the future.
I’m sorry I meant to say two months not two weeks.
It’s always more difficult to tell the truth – at first. But if you don’t, then you will worry for the rest of your life and deceive your child as well as both men. Choose short-term pain for long-term gain rather than the reverse. The truth really will set you free.
God bless you and your baby.
dear woman to be,
I am a mother, and I had a child,shes 2 years old now but nothing will come easily everything comes with obstacles such as having to bring forth a child !
i suggest 1st off you need to focus alone on that baby, tho you may feel your hormones increasing and that also requires you to have sex. you probably dont know or believe what i’m telling you but if your are having sex during pregnany and it’s not that father of the child , the child already knows by the fluids that its not her own father, not only will she know but she can see through the belly because the tissues are very thin, it’s like seeing the sun with your eyes closed, meaning you cant see the sun but you can definitely see the reddish orangish glow. Children are like angles and god has blessed you with an angel and you may not know the father but you should definitly find out who he is , worst case senario he is a jerk but you have no right to keep ur child away from him. please dont be inconsiderate and evil and build up hatred in your heart because ur baby feels everything your feeling keep a positive mind and eat healthy .trust me its better off dealing with ur pregnany alone than get ur head filled with confussion over men , if you have the child please dont get an ABORTION OR ADOPTION, you will be sinning greatly, i may sound like a relious person but im really now i’ve just come to know truth through hard abstacles i’ve faced , so pleaseeeeeee dont trick urself and ur baby’s life to come , i dont know what kind of family u come from NO DISRESPECT but the morals you pass on to ur child are going to last a lifetime
i’m sure you wouldn’t like ur mom for keeping you away from knowing ur dad
i personaly knew my dad but didnt grow up with him but i sometimes feel like i’ve missed out on things i cant even recall feeling empty, i love my mom but she did not think for her kids future ,as much as woman are bitter with men dont let another child grow up wondering her or his father. NO OTHER MAN WILL BE THE FATHER !!! if he’s good with you OKAY but no matter how nice he pretends to be he will not be a replacement for the child’s father. it may sound harsh but it’s not easy raising a child on your own so and if things dont worked out with ur boyfriend and if ur mad at him , you can not rely on him to do anything for ur child or expect him to . AS FAR AS LIENG TOHOM ABOUT THE CHILD BEING HIS , SORRY TO SAY BUT THAT IS EVIL TO THAT MAX!
AND IF HE FINDS OUT UR GOING TO BE DISGUISTED OF YOURSELF AND not even enjoy your pregnany, this is a very sensitive time of your life where you make or break it for yourself and your child , keep strangers out of your life , ELIMINATE THEM naturally you have your child you will be sooooooooo happy that alll of ur sorrows will disappear, when you kiss your baby there will not be any joy greater than that , to seee ur baby smile in their sleep you will capture that in ur heart . please dont worry ur already 2 months preg so everything will be okay for the next summer get lots of sun for vitamin d.
i know i sound old but i’m only 21 years old and had my child at age 17 i’ve learned alot since but i also regret chasing after men
women think with their heart but men think with their dick
so you may love this man ” ” it;ll only fade away within time.
EVERYTHING I’VE TOLD YOU IS WITH LOVE AND CARE OF MY HEART
I’M IN CLASS RIGHT NOW AT SCHOOL LOL LOLL OL
I think lying to someone you say you love is the perfect way to begin a relationship, especially about who’s baby it is. Since you would lie about something so important all the small stuff will be a breeze. You can lie about anything if you lie about who the father is.
ok look the daddy swap bad idea haen to me when i was young didnt like the hole thing became a real bad kid.calling the man i thought was my fther by another name and then blamed my mother and fother brakeing up on myself. Pleasedont put your child tough wat i had been though im still tryin to fnd out who my father is, Oh and if you two are in love it wouldnt matter if the baby is not his he would love it anyway. thats what my step father did love me tillthe end.
okayyy ummm i think u should stay with him and work everything out so he and u can take care of that baby so it will be easier for you and him and if dont think it aint his baby then go take a text and they will tell u if that is his baby but i hope everything works out but u should stay with him and work things out and thats good yall love each other thats good.. but yall should talk bout this and work it out…
i think running away from things isnt the answer. you are running from reality. the child ISNT his. living a lie will only make things worse. yeah, in the beginning things might work out, but one day, you argue, and then you, in rage, spill the beans. at that moment your life will fall apart.
dont live a lie, tell the truth, we are humand, we make mistakes, but IF he loves you, thant wont matter. it doesnt meen he wont feel cross, or sad, but love´s stonger than anything else.
LOL, you are seriously joking , with all the serious STD’s around nowadays, and free condoms availible from almost anywhere, AND YOU GET KNOCKED UP…….!, HA HA HA HA HA, wake up..
hi
… I don’t think you should tell your boyfriend that the baby is his if it isn’t. If he really loves you then hopefully he will accept it and love it when the time comes for the baby to be born. Hopefully he will ACCEPT it BEFORE that, and hopefully when that time comes it won’t just be him accepting it, hopefully it will be him being greatful for this child and adoring it. I don’t believe that a child needs a father. my mom raised me and my six siblings, and i am fine with that. I do know my father, and i don’t see him by my own choice. People who say that no man but the biological father can play the part of a father may be right, but after all it doesn’t take much to be a BIOLOGICAL FATHER. All it takes is a bit of sperm. I think that it is being a DAD or a DADDY that really counts for something:) and i DON’T think that you have to be the biological father to play that part. That said i do think you should give your child a chance to know the biological father. One the other hand, if he is abbusive or something bad then i don’t think you should, but as they grow older i think they should have the chance if they wan’t to know them, but as they get older. PLEASE DON’T GET AN ABORTION. if you don’t feel you can handle the baby or don’t want it then please give it up for adoption. (not saying that is the case, but if it is). I hope everything works out well for you and your baby, and also your baby’s DADDY whoever that may be:) stay safe, and be strong. God Bless you
“…if he really loves you he should understand.” Oh please. Whether he loves her or not, I hope he’d understand…and then wish her a good life before moving on. Turn it around, If she really loves him why would she even consider deceiving him…or even if she didn’t “really love him” for that matter. Character still counts even for those who chose to believe otherwise. Even if it was his child, this relationship is still barely in the dating stage, and marriage is pretty tough under the best of circumstances. This has disaster written all over it.
I suppose the concept of not sleeping around is just too old fashioned. However, there a rumor out that WE NOW KNOW WHAT CAUSEES PREGNANCY, and that IT CAN BE EASILY PREVENTED! So, after the whole character thing let’s add really stupid (both father and mother) to the equation …but especially the mother. Men play at love to get sex. Women play at sex to get love. Like it or not, ladies, your gender bears the consequences AND therefore the greater responsibility for not getting pregnant. If for no other reason, self preservation. So, wise up, plan ahead or don’t whine when the enevitable happens.
Hi
i am very happy to read your suggestion to the women who was in kind of trouble , all the things which you told is cent percent correct. but i got only one thing to tell you dear. you might have suffered badly because of mens.
but believe me there are 100 thousand of mens who think with there heart. even i am a men ,i am about 26 now, but i never ever had sex with any girl, because i am a religious man, and i will do it with one else it is for my life partner only, because she is the only one who got the right to do so.
know tell me what do you have with you today.nothing, you lost your virginity and no one is there to be wit you.
i just want to tell you only one thing my dear, please don’t let any one else to play with you or wit your feelings.i strongly feel that you are very independent and got lots of wisdom, you have real time experience. you are too young you got heaps of things to do in your life. so be careful in your life.
i wish you will be successful in every part of life, and inshallaha you will be living all your life with happyiness
hi what a beautiful artical
my opinion is that you have been together for two months? you sound young i think you should tell the boyfriend the truth if he really loves you he will except the fact you are caring another mans baby, if not then my other option would be to abort the fetus.. there are tooo many single mothers in the world right now living off welfare, do you really want that? if you dont have help with the child what are you going to do? the child will suffer for your mistakes.. i dont know if you will have help with the baby or if your alone on this? but think about it..i am 20 yrs old with two kids from the same father i live off welfare, i have no money for my children and their dad is married with another baby on the way..i have no help with my children no day care so i can work…everyone says dont abort it that is evil.. well for listening to them look where me and my children are my kids are suffering are any of those who said “dont abort it” here to feed my children? or clothe my children? no i am by myself with them suffering so dont listen to any one who says abortion is evil… fuck that. if you cant provide for the baby then that is the option.or if he wants to be the father marry him and have a good life. take care.
You without a doubt are not emotional mature enough to give birth to another human. With thoughts like this one in your mind. You have two options… 1) You get an abortion or … 2) you put this baby up for adoption. Then don’t get pregnent again until you have matured first for your sake and most of all for th e childs sake. On another note 3 months is not enough time to know if you “love” someone.
if u was daten him for 2months an u 3months pregrant dats not hes baby
Hi
You are not the only one that all this happened to.
I met my husband in American Singles Dec 24th hanged out and in 4 days I say he moved in with me.I felt like he was the right one.
3 months later I found out im pregnant. This was a shock to me because the only thing i was thinking was”what the heck am i doing he is going to leave me with a baby and i still havent finish my career.
well guess what I had a baby girl in January 2009 and got married Feb 9 2009.
We are happy and no one can take us apart..
God bless you wish you same luck.
Dear expecting,
study Islam and his teaching regarding respect of women, you will find all solution
of social problem facing by European women. SYK.
question, what it’s the relation with the biological father??? were u meet him, what’s with him?? did he knows about this???
i can tell u more if u don’t tell us about the biological father. the real situation began with this guy…
forget about the boyfriend… he will leave u in 5 seconds… and if he don’t do it… ur lucky, don’t leave him never.. he will give u more thinks that u can imagin …
ok,ur seggestion is most interesting
n this situation u should not lie to ur life partner and u should adofe the way of reality and dont break ur hope.
told him reality ,if he love u really then he will never lose ur company and spring life with u forever with happiness.
First off, you did nothing wrong if you got pregnant before you started dating this man.
Second, you do not have the right to deceive him by telling him that he is the father of a child that he did not conceive.
Third, is lying to this guy the way you want to start out your relationship with the guy you supposedly love?
Tell him the truth. If he loves you then he should love your child as well.
If he walks away then don’t forget to put your boot in his asss while he is still in range.
tell your guy the true
and think with each other in this problem
i would tell the babies dad and c wat he says aswell as your boyfriend becasue they both should know!! if the real dads an ass forget him!! but give him a chance todo the right thing!!
goodluck!!
how dare you tell a troubled woman to kill her baby . where do you come from godless liberal. go to hell
so many waysto prevent it?really? like kill it
ididnt see any comment like mine
really ? ok what ever , i think now this is a fake anyway
dont promote abortion, its not your place, there are babies born every day that no one expected ? maybe you even`!
nope
Dear woman,
It’s not anybody’s business if you are an “honorable lady” (I hope this expression has not become just another cultural “anachronism” to you), or you are sleeping around, and changing your boyfriends on the last Friday of every month… looking for a good fit… But let me tell you the obvious: the ONLY way to treat a GOOD MAN is to tell him the TRUTH….
I will agree with Yeti — trailer park misfits may never understand the concept of
dignity and respect… But I hope you are different!
However, if you lived to this day and did not get it yet, well, maybe you should consider a “brain swap”… In any case, If you don’t tell him the truth — you do not deserve a GOOD MAN. Yes, you may cheat your way into a comfortable marriage, but one day you will lose both your man and your child. And that would hurt, but on a grand scale it will be fare — since, obviously, the words “honor” and “respect” may not be part of your vocabulary…
Be truthful, and, yes, you may lose your “comfortable date”, and become a single mom. But who knows, a better man may be just around the corner for you… I am a guy — and I don’t see anything wrong about marrying a girl with a child…
Too bad you did not have a good father — the option of lying to a good man would have never crept into your mind then…
May strength, mercy and wisdom be upon you always…
And may your child grow healthy and happy.
And maybe one day we will pass each other on the street. And I will turn my head to take a better look at the woman with the child that looked familiar. For some unknown reason you will turn your head too. Our eyes will meet… you would smile awkwardly. But your smile will ignite a fire in my heart, for I will recognize the woman I have been looking for…
Just another guy.
let me start off by saying congrats….now if this guy really loves you then hell understand and stick with you through it all…but if you tell him and he runs…..well then it wasnt meant to be and you and your baby are better off without him…..but please just dont tell him that its his cause when it comes down to it and he finds out hell be hurt
you had your daughter at 17…. she’s 2 atp(at time of post)…. you’re 21 atp…. time lapse?
(save the hate messages
i wont be coming back here)
If your new boyfriend is inclined to be jealous or possessive, the relationship will probably end sooner rather than later. If he does not at all care about your previous sexual relations, and he likes the idea of becoming a father so soon, it may work.
SIgned
A jealous male.
these r not nice comments
Dear concerned…..
I noticed that this post is almost a year after the fact which means the choice that you had to face has already come to pass as your baby has been born. I am 35 years old with a 17 year old. She came to be in my life when I was in fact 17 years old and yes, I married her mother. But, I don’t in anyway advocate marriage based on simply concieving a child. Life is hard enough raising a child or children. Complicating that life with a relationship based on someone else’s moral, ethical or religious beliefs would be an unnecessary burdon to both you and your child. My wife and I were together for 8 years before we got married. We waited until we knew beyond any doubt that we were ready for that comitment. The only thing worse for a child than growing up between 2 homes is living trapped in one were its parents fight and argue constantly and clearly feel trapped instead of loved. I wsh all the best for you and your son/daughter. And I hope things worked out for you. If they did not just keep in mind there is someone for you and you will find that person. Until that day comes hold strong and love that child more than life itself and everything will work out for you.
Godbless.
hi dear….
dnt u woey every fing gona b alrite! abortion is nt a solution n can never b as wel..jst concentrate on ur baby..ur bfrnd cn understand u if he really loves u..jst b prepared for d worst b4 telin hm d trust n d best gona happen 4 sure!!
tke cre
I enjoyed reading your reply. You have a depth that most don’t. I wish I had a question to ask of you=]
There’s a funny little thing called birth control, I think its been around for a few decades. Another idiot creating a future idiot.
No one is more godless than the promoters of war and suffering of the poor, idiots like you and other far right wingnuts.
Don’t lie to this guy. You’ve dated him 2 months and you love him and you just KNOW he is going to ba a wondeful father? You don’t know anything in 2 months.
And if you’re seriously considering deceaving this guy and telling him the baby is his, then he is way better off without you, so cut him lose. Don’t be a lying deceaving phoney person. Tell him the truth, and let him decide if he wants to stay with you. He might choose to stay, and the 2 of you can lie to the kid that he is the father, and 20 years later if the truth comes out, you can tell the kid that “yes, we lied to you, but you were raised in a home with 2 parents that loved you”.
The alternative is to lie to the boyfriend, and that way 20 years later when the truth comes out, they will both hate you for lying, and your kid will think “i was raised by some schmuck who is so stupid, he didn’t know that his girlfriend of 2 months is 3 months pregnant.