1 Comment Written by admin on November 22, 2009 – 10:49 am

Dear Yeti,

My I have been dating this girl for a few months now and I can’t seem to get over the fact that her best friend is another guy. Apparently Angela my girlfriend has been best friends with Glen nearly all her life. Their parents are friends and they grew up together. Glen is straight and has his shit together as far as I can tell which makes me think he has to be into my girlfriend a little bit. I guess he has never done anything that should make me suspicious, and he has warmed up to me as I get to know him more.

I’m totally thrown by this situation and I don’t want to end up looking like a chump. I really like Angela and it’s not a deal breaker at all it’s just weird to have him call when we are hanging out, or drop by her place without calling. What really makes me nuts is when she ditches me to go hang out with him.

What do I do? Should I try to get ahead of this guy in the eyes of my girlfriend or should I just live with it?

Ted?

Dear Ted,

I’m not gonna lie to you Ted; this has romantic comedy written all over it. Jon Favreau could play you, Keanu Reeves will be Glen and Angela will be played by Kate Hudson. I will be the narrator but my voice over will be done by Matthew McConaughey or John Bon Jovi. Maybe M. Night can direct.

Opposite-sex friendships are tricky and can be a direct threat to the relationship only if you let them. The truth is that there is nothing you can do to prevent these two childhood friends from running off together or whatever it is you are fearing in the back of your head. Really the only thing you can do is say or do things that make you seem insecure and untrusting.

Before you get too discouraged, ask yourself this: they have known each other how long and never hooked up? Why is that? Is this guy really a threat? Nothing turns a girl off like a jealous, controlling boyfriend who tries to get in between her and her friends. Remember, it is possible to have friends of the opposite sex and keep your love relationship strong and healthy. With this said, there are some guidelines a platonic relationship should follow:

• No secrets allowed! Everyone should know each other and know about the friendship. If anything should change in the friendship, your partner needs to know.
• Time spent with the friend should never be more than the time spent with your partner.
• Never make your partner feel that he/she isn’t the most important relationship to you. This goes unsaid: the romantic relationship, no matter how new, should be or have the potential to be more intimate than that of your opposite sex friend.
• Never put your friend’s needs before your partner’s needs. By making your partner your number-one priority, the mystery surrounding the friendship diminishes, and your partner will more likely view the friend as a real person.

A Yeti