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An Equation for Procrastination

admin — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 22:06:31 +0000

Dear Yeti,

I am a Mexican guy who came to the Netherlands to study a master in economics two years ago. Of course I don’t have money so I do this on a scholarship by the Netherlands government. My problem is that I’m supposed to be finished with the program about these days and I still owe a bunch of papers plus my thesis. I don’t know what to do I keep procrastinating all the time and even have become a regular at coffeeshops. I feel morally bankrupt I know I blew the biggest opportunity in my life (until now). To be more realistic I know that time-wise it is almost impossible to get it done and I am very anxious because of this. What should I do? My dream was to finish these studies and to continue for a Phd. I thought I had the talents to do it but now I’m not so sure. I feel I will dissappoint many including myself but because of other circumstances I wasted almost a year here and now I cannot catch up and I don’t have the means to buy me some more time.

I appreciate your view.
Julio

Dear Julio,

Here’s an old saying that should make sense to you, “Over time, hard work pays off, the problem is that procrastination pays off now.” True you may have blown the biggest opportunity of your life (to date) but life is long and I think you just need to calm down and face your problem head on. Is it possible you just don’t want to be an economist?

Are you distracted by something else specifically, like do you secretly want to become a circus acrobatic, or a matador? If so, I’ll tell you what just about anyone who has lived through their 20s will tell you. Just go do it, no matter what it pays or what other people think about you. It’ll make your life fulfilling and the money will follow. Easier said than done I know, but nonetheless the truth. However, after reading the subtext of your letter I get the feeling that it’s not some abandoned dream that’s got you studying economics, it’s more about a lack of confidence and direction that’s got you down. This is a bit more complicated.

It’s time to step up to the line of adulthood and cross it. Everyone in society has a responsibility to do something constructive with the opportunities they are provided. It’s up to you to find that spark of confidence and compassion. Quit wasting your time procrastinating your way through college. It’s making you more and more miserable. The guilt of not being productive is growing everyday, only making your problem worse. It’s a downward spiral, and it’s time to pull out.

You need a clean slate. Forgive yourself totally and completely for messing up this opportunity and rededicate your life to something with substance, something you want to do.

You don’t have to have a degree in economics to read between the lines on your whole “ I have become a regular at coffee shops (Netherlands)” statement. Usted está fumando hierba demasiado mi amigo. You’re in Am-dam smoking dope all day and you want answers to why your life is going to shit? Come on grow up.

Your life is a formula; an equation only you can solve. Just change a few variables in your equation and the outcome will be different.

Coffee shops + an unexamined life = Procrastination/Depression

A Yeti

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“I Have A Prescription For That”

admin — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 06:12:26 +0000

Dear Yeti,

I bring upon you a new Dilemma. I have recently been prescribed medical marijuana to take care of my back pain. Only the pain has ceased, just a couple months ago. I have not told my doctor, and I continue to recieve the dope. I never was a heavy smoker, so I have been selling it to friends around town. Is this an immoral thing to do? I mean it’s free for me, and if I don’t supply it, my friends will just spend more money else where. A guilty conscience has been following me around, and this monkey on my back is killing me. Plus what is the penalty for getting caught? Thanks for your time.
Your Friend,
Cam

Dear Cam,

I will suspend my disbelief in the validity of your letter because medical marijuana is an interesting and rapidly changing topic.

A Quick History of medical marijuana:
Marijuana has been legal in California since prop 215 passed by an overwhelming margin in 1996. The federal government does not recognize the legal right to distribute medical marajuana and continues to use the controlled substance act to prosecute distribution centers. Today medical marijuana is legally being prescribed in 13 states in the US and in Europe and Canada. The laws vary in flexibility from state to state in the US, and new states are legalizing medical marIjuana every year. For instance, in Oregon it is legal to have 24ozs in possession and up to 24 plants in the ground as compared to Montana which allows 1oz and 6 plants.

So you are telling me you are having reservations (morally) about your new plan of reselling your legally prescribed marijuana to your friends, and you are further asking about the legal ramifications should you be caught. I am not a lawyer and as such I have no interest in advising you of your legal rights regarding the redistribution of medical marajuana. In some states the penalty is as small as a traffic ticket. In other more stricter states you might be processed at the police station and have to go to court on a misdemeanor charge. The best reference for regional marijuana laws can be found www.norml.org. This being said you should know the cultural climate in the United States is changing. Just look at the evendence; things like medical marijuana vending machines are now availible in California. The laws are becoming less stringent, but it is still an illegal substance.

…Now it’s time to address the question that you did not mean to ask but did.

“I NEVER WAS A HEAVY SMOKER, SO I HAVE BEEN SELLING IT TO FRIENDS AROUND TOWN. IS THIS AN IMMORAL THING TO DO?”

Are you really asking me if smoking and selling illegal drugs is immoral; by that I mean, are you really conflicted if these acts are contrary to divine law set forth by God? I don’t think you do. I think by immoral you really meant unethical or wrong. There is nothing in the ten comandments that suggests that smoking or selling contraband substances are immoral. I think it’s time to dig deeper on this moral dileuma, Cameron. Let me share with you a story. Steph Green was a successful corporate events planner in San Diego. Because of a severe neck injury she was forced to use liberal amounts of ibuprofin and pain killers to relieve her daily anguish. After two years of this regimen of prescription pills, her kidneys began to fail. She was six months away from dialysis before doctors then prescribed her medical marijuana. Steph found temporary relief from her pain as she began to use marijuana – so much so that she moved from San Diego to San Francisco where she could be closer to the legal dispensaries. All seemed well until federal agents began to raid and shut down the legal dispensaries. People like Steph find difficulty getting the help they need because the line between legal medical marijuana users and the recreational users is being blurred by people such as yourself. Further extrapolated, you are morally wrong by helping to condition the government into believing that medical marijuana is an excuse by recreational users to beat the system and directly preventing people who are living with chronic pain from getting the help they need. Yes, what you are doing is both immoral and illegal. Quit being a selfish asshole and knock it off.

The federal government needs to reclassify or decriminalize medical marijuana; people that need it should be able to get it safely and easily.

A Yeti

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I Assume Your Race Has Rat Problems

admin — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 15:56:45 +0000

Dear Yeti,

I have an extreme problem with mice in my house. I hate mice they totaly creep me out and I’ve got to do something about it. My house is kind of old and I’m sure the mice were there before I bought the place but I think they are multiplying every day. I want to finish the basement but I’m not even gonna bother if I can’t keep the mice from coming in, any way it’s really becoming a problem.

I have called exterminators and friends, tried mousetraps and sticky pads, but nothing can get rid of them. I’m impartial hoI was wondering, with you being a yeti and all, if you had any experience with this kind of thing. I am sorry if I am stereotyping yeti’s but I assumed your race has a lot of rat and mice problems.

Your Friend,
Cameron

Dear Cameron,

Before I respond to your ridiculous question, I want to address the last two sentences in your letter. At the risk of writing two racial comentaries in the same month, not only are we different races but different species. Thankfully, because I don’t want to be associated with you in any way should you ever decide to ask someone else if their racial background can provide you information on your rat problem. I’m a little bit offended. That’s like saying hey, since you are Native American, you must know the best way to smoke buffalo meat.

So you say you have called a professional exterminator, and employed both a mouse-trap and a sticky pad campaign, none of which were satisfactory. Your question is complete bull-shit but it’s a slow week and I will answer it anyway. When you called the exterminator, what did you talk about? Did you talk about his wife’s new scrapbooking projects? Did you break down the pros and cons of last weeks’ boat show? Or did you guys talk about your rodent problem. I say this because any decent exterminator is going to have 1.) a long term/short term solution 2.) an explanation of why your house/apartment is now a rat hotel. 3.) a guarantee of some sort to solve this dilemma. I suspect that you did call, you found out how much it’s going to cost to stare at Earl’s butt crack all Saturday and said forget it. So let it be said that like most problems, the easiest way to solve rodent infestation is to throw money at it. In this case, hire an exterminator who will diagnose and solve your problem.

With that said, I have decided to venture off of the world wide web for a solution, get 3 different voices on this matter and seek to provide you, Cameron, with a cost friendly solution to your problem.

Mauro Maldonado, an 8 year old who is way too serious about karate. Mauro: You should buy a python, Yeti: Not a cat? Mauro: and a cat. Yeti: Won’t the python eat the cat? Mauro: No, they are friends.

Mirabelle Frances, A horse trainer in the mid-west:” I love it when the butterflies all come into my yard towards the end of the summer. It’s a magical time of year for us, but it is usually interrupted by the Iowa State Fair and after that. Then it starts to get cold out; that’s when I find out how many mice are in the fields and how many come into the house for food. It’s really only one or two mice in the house at any time and they are always easy to catch.

Do not even bother looking for holes in the exterior of your house. Mice can crawl through a ¼” hole and can usually chew open a gap that size in the matter of a few hours. She tells me that in her experience really the best way to keep out the mice is with a few cats roaming the house. She always uses peanut butter in the traps because it has to be licked off and can’t be stolen like cheese and she cleans the traps before they start to smell. She also advises that if the mice are big enough they can wiggle out of the traps. If this keeps happening just put a razorblade on the end or it like a guillotine. I advised Mirabelle that this may be a bit to aggressive or graphic for my readers. Mirabelle’s response was “then start learning to share your breakfast cereal.” Cameron you may want to look on line for more farm tips on mice eradication.

But like most things, my father says it best. He says “Well, better get yourself a better mouse trap.”

A Yeti

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