I think I may be in love with my boss. I have been working at my new job for 3 months now. I begun picking up on subtle romantic undertones from my boss who is in his forties and happily married. One day he asked me if I wanted to go for a ride on his motorcycle, so I went. After that day I got so turned on everytime I am around him. Eventually it happened where we were together alone in our shop and we had the most amazing sex I've ever had in my life. After that he told me that what happened was a mistake and that he was really in love with his wife. I'm not the type of girl to get involved with a married man but I can't stop thinking about him. Plus everyone in our shop says that his wife is a lesbian. I never wanted to be in a situation like this but here I am. I don't dare lead on that I'm into him as much as I am but it's starting to interfere with my work. What's really messing me up is that my boss is almost 20 years older than me. Should I start snooping into his personal life to see if I am missing something about his supposed marriage or should I just back off entirely.
This guy doesn’t happen to be a professional golfer by any chance does he? Why are you using the gossip of coworkers to justify your infidelity with this guy? You need to realize that all that talk about the boss’s wife being a closet lesbian is just hear say. No you can’t use that to validate any future “transgretions” (Shout out to the Tiger Woods legal team for this phrase). Oh and by the way all this dirty laundry about the boss’s gay wife will be peanuts compared to the gossip that will come out if you don’t cool it with this affair. I think what you are really asking me is do I get out of this situation, and how?
First off your poor philandering boss is probably scared he’s going to loose both his business and his wife over his misconduct. It’s probably best to discuss this situation with him one on one before doing anything else. The fact that he has cut off your romantic relationship cold turkey is probably a sign that he does remain a shred of dignity, and wishes to regress into his quasi normal life again. Advise him that you wish to air out all your feelings with him and ask if he has anything to divulge. Should you tell his wife? Yea probably, being open and honest is cathartic and help you add closure to this chapter in you life. However you should put out some feelers on this first. If it’s true that this marriage is a sham and he is nothing but a beard for his wife it may be a valid excuse for putting the breaks on the confession. The truth is that other peoples relationships can be incomprehensible for outsiders and that infidelity and public infidelity can be two different things entirely.
Lastly women who have and act on their “daddy complex” are often easy targets for crafty married men. Try dating unattached men your own age with whom you can relate to.