I'm 22 and in my last year of college and I've had a crush on this guy at my university who is a year younger than me and who is going into his 2nd year; the thing is that I study overseas. We will both be leaving our university and going different countries come next summer but I can help but have a crush on this guy now and it's been about six weeks.
It started out harmless, I just wanted to be his friend but soon I realized that he was really funny and he's tall with green eyes and he has red hair which I know most people don't like but for some reason I am attracted to. I think it's because I might have thing for Irish boys but this guy is Spanish and speaks English with an accent and that is totally normal here because I'm in Spain but when he does it, it's cute.
My mom says that I shouldn't, "shit where I eat," and I know she is right but it's to the point where I can't concentrate when I'm around him and he even makes me feel giddy. I even get excited on the days that I know I'm going to see him at school. Now he is done with class but I have another three weeks. I want to hang out with him and I have made a couple of attempts but one was on a whim and it was late and the metro was closed so he couldn't come into the city and the second time he got the message too late.
I think he feels more comfortable around me but I always feel lost when it comes to the opposite sex here in Spain, seriously this cultural difference is not so good for my self esteem. I miss my American boys that I can read easily but I can't help but like this one Spanish guy.
Help! I want to hang out with him and see if he likes me but I'm getting lost in the translation!
Crushin' on Carrot Top
Dear Crushin’ on Carrot Top,
Ahhhhhhh that’s the sound of thousands of American men sighing in satisfaction at the revelation that women also have it uphill when it comes to romance in the suave European dating pool. Many a college student has returned to the United States with fabricated European love affairs. I am personally responsible a fictitious narrative regarding two French chicks after a Coldplay concert. These stories only serve to perpetuate the myth that hooking up on an oversea adventure is easy. It isn’t, but that shouldn’t prevent you from getting to know this guy. It sounds like you are off to a good start; you’re already on his radar as a friend. All you really have to do now is find the romance button.
Your mom tells you not to shit where you eat, really. Is she a drill sergeant for the Marine Corp? Hmmm well it’s totally understandable that you would fall for the ever-reclusive “Ginger Spaniard”. They are rare and irresistible to say the least. Let me rectify the lousy advise given to you by your mother. You should definitely “ir al cagar donde se come” or shit where you eat. You say you are getting lost in the translation, this can be a good thing. Because english is not his first language communication with you is probably more intense for him. Try easing his Burdon by complementing him on his English, and keeping the conversations simple. In this day and age you almost certainly have common interests: food, music, artists, athletes (try tennis players.) Even more exciting are the things in which you don’t have in common culturally. These can lead to long late night conversations that may lead to a more intimate experience.
If this fails you have probably the most lethal of all dating tools right under your nose. Ask to practice your Spanish with him. How much Spanish you currently speak is irrelevant. If he agrees to help you, you’ll be guaranteed his undivided attention. The great thing about practicing a second language is that is nearly all question asking and response. This allows you to ask him all sorts of personal questions under the guise of a Spanish lesson. How else could you (in the context of normal social behavior) ask him all about his: interests, likes and dislikes, family, love life, exc. This will not only get you more acquainted with each other it will show your interest in his culture which is a must in any international friendship.